tree of heaven

2011-12-13T06:38:00.000-08:00

I had a simple dream, a really simple dream which I just realised a few days ago. I just want t lead a simple life, but will my dream ever come true? something that I hold on tightly for so long, I don wanna lose. Its just too precious to me:(

2011-12-11T07:02:00.000-08:00

I wanna run away, run away to a far far away place whr no one knows me; a place whr i can put everything aside; a place whr i can set my mind at ease. BUT, there won be such a place in this world. I have to be strong, I need to walk out of my own world. YET, I couldnt find the courage to do so...
whats the use of crying whn no one knows how ur feeling?

2011-12-10T17:23:00.000-08:00

There's no more colours, no laughter, nth in my life now.
everything changed, no matter how much hard work I put in.
There's no meaning in whatever I do now, I just cant find any joy in doing anything.
Feel like sleeping the whole day and never had to wake up.
what to do, what to do, what to do? I seriously have no idea at all...
The world that I once look forward to...will never be mine forever.

2010-12-01T22:01:00.000-08:00

ppl, why are u all so clever? how did u all manage t survive through it? all of u have overcome the obstacle, but here i am trying t overcome it now! i feel so left out! no motivation at all! ppl are enjoying themselves, but i cant! so damn tiring! i so sick of studying! rlly! i accomplished nth over all these years! i feel so retarded! so damn not practical! life suck! studying suck! could time pass faster? please! i'm suffocating now!
nagging could be heard every single day. i've so damn tons of work t do, but, i'm nt in the mood t do anything! don feel like gg out, unless its meeting him. everything seems so useless, so boring. i wanna get everything done, i wanna change the environment or maybe the ambience of my room. i wanna change the way i look at things; the way i see things. i wanna change my brain, i wann t be someone who is more knowledgeable; someone who has high self-esteem; someone with more confidence in whatever things she does. yet all seem so impossible, so far away!
every single day, i stared at my study desk, not knowing what t do. homework, assignments seem t be calling out for me. i took them out, yet thr's no energy in my hand t start writing, no engine in my brain t start thinking. nth! and so another day passed with me accomplishing nth again:( life sucks! or maybe i'm the one who suck! i use t grumble during exam periods why cant time ticks slower; so i could study more. but now, time seem so slow n yet i refuse t make use of the time t study! my room seems t be in a mess! even my brain, my heart seem t be in a mess too! lots of things undone. i feel so damn heavy living in my own house. mom nagged and scream at me t pack my clothes for the oversea trips. and surprisingly this time round, i'm nt as excited as i used t be whenever its time t go for any oversea trip. i rmbed i would carefully plan wat clothes i would wan t wear on different days and even try those clothes out at home to see if they match. but this time round, the passion isn't thr anymore.
i love going out during hols, but this time round, i'm so damn lazy t even go out with my mom. i throw my tantrum when i'm out with her:( the only thing tt i look forward to is going out with him, study with him and have fun out tgt! but... i cant even go out often! :'(

2010-11-30T23:49:00.000-08:00

shared frappe and cheese cake with him! :D

went t 313 somerset with dear today! :D movie first. watched bruce lee and i cried towards the end of the movie. sympathies bruce lee's friends and was touched by their friendship! went for lunch then shopping at ion orchard! bought jeans from mango and shorts from osmose. tea time at tcc! heh! omg! so damn happy! i'm like jumping for joy when i'm with him! miss him so much! but i hate it when time passes by so fast whenever i'm with him:( LOVE GOING OUT WITH HIM THO! :D :D :D

2010-11-27T08:50:00.000-08:00

i know all of you are disappointed with me. but do know that i struggle alot to come out with this decision. i hope u all can understand. rlly! I've been always struggling between this two. and trust me, either way won make me feel good too. bcos i know i would have let down the other party. but i rlly need, and i should do it. bcos tt's wat couples normally do. if one day u all are in a r/s, u all will understand too. now tt i don have much time t spare so i wanna spend every single time i've with him. of cos, tt's not saying tt i won spend time with u all too. But, its rlly normal for couples to behave in this way tho. i don wana disappoint both parties, but sometimes, something need t be done this way. i'm sorry if i hurt all of ur hearts. but i also hurt his heart too! :( idw things to turn out worst anymore. so please, i know ur are disappointed with me, but give me some time t manage both friendship n r/s well kay? as u all know, i cant rlly juggle between this two. so yup, give me time. n i know u all will understand me one day too. i'm glad bcos ash was in a r/s so he always know why i did all this. but nevertheless i need all of ur support too. BUT, priorities need t be set right, and so he will also come in first and because when there's someone in your heart, your heart will naturally go to tt person and wants to spend your life with that person-that's human and that's love...
i'm sorry t every single one of you, including him!

2010-11-20T15:10:00.000-08:00

Be careful not to fall prey to your own idealism today, Pisces. While this is one of your most admirable qualities, as it contributes to your romantic, creative nature, too much of anything can be harmful. It's important to see things as they are, despite how much you may wish them to be different. The real world doesn't always go hand in hand with your ideal place. If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your instincts.

~horoscope.com

maybe its not as simple as I think it should be. nth comes without challenges, nth is perfect. I hate myself being so naive and dumb. I always thought tt I've everything and anything. I always assume tt the world revolves only for me and tt others are able t know wat i want, but it doesn't seem like its true. i've been living in my own ideal world. maybe its time I wake up from my idealism and be brave so as t live in this world thats filled with challenges and difficulty. and yup its definitely true tt life isn't the same as those in the dramas. dramas are just stories tt are being carefully planned. find the right tap and make sure you drench yourselves in the maturity tt u should have, tracy!

2010-11-07T23:56:00.000-08:00

letter from him:D

cards tt i made for him.

i made this with his initials for him.

little cutie bear from hs!

USS

its our second month today:D and we went Universal Studio t spent our significant day thr!
loved the day, the place and of cos LOVE HIM!!! supposed t meet at 9.50am at harbour front station but i was late:( ard 10am then reach. took bus RWS8 thr and we finally reach USS! WOOHOOO! we put our bags in lockers for fear tt it will be too hassle if we were t take rides later. and we got t keep our gifts for eachother in a safe place:D

our first station: FAR FAR AWAY; shrek 4-D adventure:D
i love tt! its so damn coool. its kind of like the fourth t fifth time i'm watching 4-D maybe. but its even more exciting when i get t watch it with my bf tho:D haha, bcos the feelin is rlly different.

we went t ancient egypt after tt. tried out on the treasure hunters and revenge of the mummy! i must say tt the total darkness of tt indoor roller coaster with unexpected turns n face t face with the mummies are just so unforgettable. its a psychological thrill ride tt i would nv forget, especially when hs is beside me((: we even went for a second round after we've tried out almost all the attractions!

had our dinner at marty's casa del wild and again i didn't finish the food again:( after we watched the shows all tt, we went t have orea cream chez cake:)) nice!!!
went t other attractions as well such as lights, camera, action! hosted by steven spielberg; waterworld; enchanted airways and lastly jurassic park rapids adventure:D we got wet while we were on the river raft ride despite buying the ponchos! LOL! and the staff member even said tt by buying ponchos, we will be saved from gettin wet! wat bullshit, our shoes and hair are wet can! hs's jeans are wet too:(
the feeling is just so different when u go t a theme park with either ur bf or gf. its totally different from gg with families all tt. i just love walking hand in hand with him:D took lots of pics! but yup, thr's those secrets pics tt cant be shared with the public. haha ( don think the wrong way, its definitely not wat u all are thinking bout! xd)

we left USS at around 6.4opm with some attractions not being tried out, cos we are leaving it for our second visits(: exchanges gifts and took RWS8 back t vivo. walked around and i hate t say goodbye t him again:(((

but nevertheless, its another memorable day tt both of us wouldn't forget! I LOVE YOU HONGSHIH! ♥ ♥ ♥

2010-10-24T01:40:00.000-07:00

will be taking back all the papers on next wed! damn worried! but I reckon that I kind of did quite well as compared to last year. at least, my physic improved yea?
I really hope that math and econs could pass. As for physic, I'm don't really have the confidence in passing; but overall at least I'll pass for physic rite? since i passed all my lecture test. Chem, not much confidence too:( this is so saddening. I shouldn't be worry about my results at all but instead I should have lots of confidence in it. this goes to show tt I still lack the skills and not fully prepared for my promos. nevertheless, I'm sure I'm able t deliver good news t everyone and proudly say tt I GET PROMOTED! I can right? I can do it right? please, let my fulfill my second wish! please!

2010-10-22T23:51:00.000-07:00

been hanging out everyday after sch with dear(: went t lots of places; plaza sing, the cathay, city hall, amk hub, dear's house n bugis! :D
we went t catch lots of movies- life as you know it, takers n the child's eyes! do some window shopping n went arcade n played lan! OMGGG! I'm addicted t CS again! hahah! I shall play lan again some other day!

went t his hse on thurs(21oct 10) tho! really love the scenery n the exterior design of the condo! OMGGG! love his hse ttm:D I feel as if i entered into the resort world when i saw the exterior design of the condo. as in the feeling tt the condo gave was different from those tt i went before. next, his hse! his family owns two unit on the same level. so before i went t his hse, we stay put at the other unit first, where his drum sets are there. his maid cooked nasi lemak for us:D nice! but i feel bad for not finishing the food n didn't help up with the dish-washing( cos dear said put it there!) hahah! went t his 'drum studio' and we started t view each other (childhood) pictures! LOL! his rlly cute when he's young! I'm very cute when i'm a toddler tooo! haha. his dad went out at ard 3plus, so we went t his hse n I greeted his maid. entered his room and its so damn neat n tidy at a glance! ^^ love the design n layout of his room-so cozy:D we have lots of fun tho, trying t tickle each other n the mischievious side of me surfaced again as I used his msn account n chatted with his friends!!!! HAHAHAH :P love his bed cos its rlly comfortable! (:
P.S. feel like we are newly-weds when I'm at his hse, bcos we somehow act like one too! :p

2010-10-21T15:19:00.000-07:00

yay~ i'm at his house suing his laptop now(: his condo looks damn niceee! tt resort world feel. love his house so much tooo! and his room! so damn cozy and neat(: don wanna leave his hse:(

2010-10-20T07:07:00.000-07:00

ohwell! I wish i could rlly do well for this year promo! I can do it right? yup! I CAN! :D

2010-10-18T07:22:00.000-07:00

what should i do? i think i'm such a failure, a sucker and whatever u all can think of. This cant go on for life man! I seriously need change the attitude of mine! wat lousy shit is this? wat stupid crap of attitude and character this is? ombloodyhell, this crappy mouth n thinking of mine should change seriously! I rlly dk wats wrong with me, but yup, a mistake surface again, after the other subsidies. just whats wrong with me? why should i always be the spoiler? why i cant i maintain the ambience as it is? whats the freaking problem with me? WHAT??? tell me wHAT!!!!
i don have the right t be unhappy or watsoever even if i feel sad or hurt, becos, i'm in the wrong. sigh. this cant continue forever man, but idk wat ican do t change for the better. i shal try my best then.

2010-10-16T17:39:00.000-07:00

no sch for us on friday(15OCT 10), so went city hall with hs. meet him at ard 9.30 at lc mrt station and trained t city hall. walked ard city link, and sat down t chat(: went marina square, not much ppl thr! YAY!!! haha. we shopped ard the shops looking at clothes, books, soft toys etc! after tt, we stood rooted at a spot n started huggin each other, chatting bout lots of stuff. later, Hs took out his jacket n I wore it! omg! his jacket look damn nice n fashion! (: love his jacket ttm! and I love the feeling of being in his arms, i just feel so blissful, so heaven! later at ard 12 sth we went t have our lunch. after lunch, we went t suntec city n started gg t the arcade! :D its my first time gg arcade with only a guy! we played shootin, drumming and catching of soft toys(and of cos we didn't succeed!) he kept wanting me t dance in front of him using the machine at the arcade, but i simply refused t do it, cos i felt damn ps doing it infront of him, and i suck at it too! haha! BUT! Hs is damn cool at shootin n drumming too! he looks so cool when he's doing all those stuff! lol:D saw ash n francs on our way down t level one. lol! What a coincidence! we went t shop for soccer clothes too, cos hs loves soccer:D went coffee n toast t have our tea break before gg home! n we have our jacket exchange, so tt it feel as if we are beside each other when we are at home! haha!
anyway, I simply love the feeling of being by his side, holding his hands walking round at shopping mall, even tho we are doing nth! the feelin is just so great, and i feel so blissful! being hugged by him made me fly t the sky too! omgosh! guess, tt's the power of love? making ppl go crazy! miss him so much!! <3 <3 <3

2010-10-15T23:16:00.000-07:00

FML! i just cant believe it tt I cant even relax even after exams! right after exams man?! what's going on now? wth! i've been wanting t watch lots of on9 dramas, variety show n movies. but bcos i know its exam periods n tt exams are impt, so i kept telling myself tt, 'nvm tracy, just endure, and and after exams you can do everything you wan. exams are impt. they determine your life. youtube, facebook all tt can wait. so yup. focus on wats impt now!' but, i didn't get what t enjoy life after exams! this suck! FML man! i nv use this F word unless i'm rlly angry! this rlly suck! how i wish i can pack my bag now, n leave this hse! but not forever of cos! i just wan my parents t know tt i have everyright t enjoy life after exams. n tt i'll still manage my time well between studies n playtime. i know, i might not do well for promo, or maybe the worst, got kick out of the sch. but still i did my best. n i wanna give myself a treat after all those hardwork tt i put in. so yup. please don deprive me from my freedom n happiness! i rlly need them t survive well!
i'm thinking if thr's any workshop tt i can send my parents t 'upgrade' on their mindset! its 21st century, they nd t rlly know wat their child needs, and how n why their child behave in this way! omg! They are great n awesome in other aspects but when it came t after exams period n studies all that, they suck! oh my holy shit! :((( i cant believe tt i'm 18 but i deprived from the life tt a 18thyr old child should lead! FML! this is rllly unfair man! i need a rest. and not just rest by slping early. i need entertainment after being kept in seclusion for almost 9mths! sigh!

2010-10-14T23:28:00.000-07:00

ended sch at ard 10.20am tday, so we decided t meet each other at bishan mrt station at 11am. CRAZZIES first outing on thurs(14 oct 10) we went dhoby to catch a movie 'life as you know it'! damn funny! ash brought along his gf, while I brought hs along too! we had our lunch at KFC, unfortunately, i had cramps at this stupid timing! so ended up, i didn't eat much for lunch! :( hs was at a loss, he didn't kno wat to do. but its okay, as long as he's beside me when i'm in pain or watever, its good enough alr! By holding my hands, somehow gives me the courage t move on and able t recover soon too!(: after lunch our clique went seperate ways. ash, francs n meng went pooling, ql n yvonne went t shop ard ps too, buying lots of stuff, while hs n I stayed a while longer at KFC cos i'm still in pain, after tt then we went t walk round ps n the cathay.

2010-10-12T07:25:00.001-07:00

oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah hey! oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah ho! haha!
PROMO IS FINALLY OVER! :D
but honestly speaking, i feel neither excited or depress. just neutral. LOLS! but i only had one wish now! one important wish tt i hope it can be fufilled! i don yearn for more, just let me promote n its fine! i think i put in much more effort than i did last year, rlly! n all the results before i take the promo are actually quite high too! so yup, please, fufilled my dreams for once! :D

2010-10-01T02:36:00.000-07:00

settled!!!! (((:
i shall concentrate on my studies nowww! cos promo is cominggg! in bout 3 days!
omggggg!

2010-09-30T01:46:00.000-07:00

Its bleeding, its rlly bleeding:( i know u're deeply hurt, but i'm hurt too. I wanna be someone different, but yet, it creates more problem. looks like lots of things happen recently. I don't know how t express my concern, i don't know lots of things! I'm such a fool!
I wanna do lots of things FOR you and do lots of things WITH you, yet, idk how. its not the time yet, cos promo is round the corners. whenever i saw sth or did sth, i would think of you, cos i wanna do it with you, i wanna enjoy the feeling of having u by my side. yet, when i'm in front of you, idk what i'm thinking. i rlly dk what i'm thinking! i'm such a failure, complete failure, in both studies n r/s. nevertheless, there are still happy moments tt we shared, those happy moments tt i'll nv forget! once u smile, i will start t smile. but when u're emo, i'll emo too! yet, i'm seem so hopeless when u're emo. :( :( :( :( :( :(

2010-09-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

I WANNA BRING GOOD NEWS T EVERYONE ON 16 NOV 2010!!! PLEASEEEE!
I CAN DO IT! I CAN! I CAN! I CAN!

2010-09-09T05:05:00.000-07:00

HANG IN THERE TRACY! ITS THE LAST ROUND SO DON't LET UR GUARDS DOWN! DON'T SLOW DOWN NOW! DON'T!!! MOVE ON, N MOVE FASTER! YOU CAN DO IT!

♥ ♥ ♥

2010-09-09T00:13:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YVONNE ZHENG!!! MUST STUDY KAY! DON KEEP THINKING OF MAO! HAHA

2010-09-09T00:06:00.000-07:00

slept at 5am in the morning n woke up at 12pm, so cant rlly focus on studies today, no wonder kept dozing off. today's mugging failed! not effective at all! :((
anyway, while studying, images on the bus tt day kept flashing across my mind(: haha! so sweet!
gona make sth for u soon! MISS YOU:D

2010-09-07T09:45:00.000-07:00

When i was standing at the end of the world and couldn't see the path, i needed someone.
When i was trapped in the darkness and couldn't see the light, i was waiting for the helping hand.
You wouldn't know that you're the only one in the world; only one more than better world.
I believe dream for you n me, you are the long waited rain in my draughty day.
You soaked my heart n gave me courage.
You make fly n smile again, coming into my arms n giving happiness silently just like a rainbow after a shower. I wanna make a love.

When you found out that i ran away, perhaps you were disappointed.
I had courage t come back becos you were there; you the one always in my heart.
I believe dream for you n me, you are the long waited rain in my draughty day.
You soaked my heart n gave me courage.
You make fly n smile again, coming into my arms n giving happiness silently just like a rainbow after a shower. I wanna make a love.

On lonely night, its an endless n stuffy dark night. those are the days when i cried alone during the dark nights In lieu of the ppl who could only hurt my callow heart.
and my heart was having a draught, but thats okay, you make a way.
The person who will always be guiding me is you, the only reason of living is only you.
Within the desert you are my Oasis, the sweetest chocolate.
I believe dream for you n me, you are the long waited rain in my draughty day.
You soaked my heart n gave me courage.
You make fly n smile again, coming into my arms n giving happiness silently just like a rainbow after a shower. I wanna make a love.

2010-09-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

I'll nv imagine myself doing that, but miraculously, i did. AWW!!! an eye opener indeed. (:
love tt feeling ttm ttm ttm:D
haha ♥♥♥
oh, yup, but don lost ur focus on ur studies too! PROMO COMING TRACYYYYYYY!!!! REVISEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

2010-09-05T10:35:00.000-07:00

29 DAYS LEFT!!!
GOSH GOSH GOSH!!! THIS IS KILLING!
OH MAN! BE THANKFUL TT I'M STILL ALIVE! BUT I BELIEVE HEART ATTACK WILL TAKE ACTION ANYTIME SOON. :(
ALRIGHT, STUDIED PHY, MATH N ECONS SINCE SAT STARTED. BUT DID I APPROACH THE SUBJ WITH THE CORRECT METHOD? IF NOT, ITS NOT USE STUDYING TILL SO LATE TOO.

:( blog under observation now :(

2010-09-05T01:55:00.000-07:00

opps! YOG is over n i realised i haven post bout it! anyway, crazzies enjoyed ourselves on 25aug. our class went t watch the preliminary rounds for table tennis n we cheered, screamed, laughed n cam-whored till mad!!! HAHAHA!!! 1000 shots taken in just 3hrs time. aren't we great? haha! its rlly nice watching the matches too(: tho singapore lose in the end, but still i admired their determination! keep it up(:
after singapore loses, we continued t stay there and thats the moment tt crazzies become super high! (crazzies+ frances+elizabeth+yuanlong) haha! i rmbed ash n ql using the 'pong pong' t hit each other n the students from sec sch were like, wat are the 2 person doing? aww! we seriously throwed NY face! haha! but we kept saying tt we were from HC! hoho! who cares? kay, an enjoyable day indeed(:

2010-09-04T00:46:00.000-07:00

Hols are here, and i'm definitely gona miss CRAZZIES n him:(( how t survive?
anyway, its a PRECIOUS MUGGING WEEK, so i shall mug till 3am everyday, hope tt helps. thr's rlly not much time left man, i wanna walk out at the end of 2010 with no regrets n also beautiful memories n enter 2011 happily with another new n important goal in my life.
one important 'mission' tt i set for myself in this year has been fufilled, the another 'mission' tt shall be fufilled by the end of this year will be the PROMOS! cant afford t let this opportunity slip off again, its the only chance left t determine the life tt i'll be living for the rest of my life. So, GOD! i hope u heard my prayers n bless me with all the powers n wishes tt you have. I sincerely hope tt I(and WE!!!) could conquer PROMO n get PROMOTED!!! yup, yup!

2010-09-02T21:43:00.000-07:00

MY SEPTEMBER CHART
1. oasis-beast
2. Mazeltov-ZE:A
3. love light- cn.blue
4. heartbeat of taiwan-jolin tsai
5. WOWOWOW- shinee
6. this love- G dragon
7. love- cn.blue
8. i'm a loner-cn blue
9. I MY ME MINE-4 minute
10. everyone-YOG

2010-09-01T05:49:00.000-07:00

I'VE SUCH AN AWESOME BROTHER! wow!

2010-08-28T14:50:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY ELYN! :D

sorry for not being able t go for ur celebration, tight down with tones n tones of work and i'm sick recently. anyway, do hope that u enjoy ur birthday with the rest n may we meet up soon again!!!!

ohwell, i'm nearly hit down by a car today. i just didn't hear my dad calling me n tt there's actually a car driving towards me from behind. wasn't myself today, n i usually think bout lots of stuff when walking alone. guess its a bad habit of mine. this happens to me countless time and i'm just lucky to get away with it without being knock down by the cars. sigh! it will be damn embarrassing if i were t be knock down by a car:((

2010-08-27T23:22:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY:D

THE LONG AWAITED DAY HAS FINALLY ARRIVED! HOPE YOU ENJOYED UR BDAE N THANKS FOR THE TREAT TOO. I should be treating u, but end up the other way round. lol. anyway, glad that u like the gift and the cards. (haha, girls usually have lots t say when it comes t writing letters or cards) bcos u didn't want the others t know tt its ur bdae today, so i cant make ur day till its very exciting:( anyway, hope that u're seriously aren't bored celb-ing ur bdae in this way. but i don think its a celebration tho, cos it doesn't look like! :(
but seriously i wanna say thankyou to you; a million thanks for all tt u did(:
lols i cant use the word enjoyed anymore, cos its kinda weird. SO i'll try t make nxt yr a better one(:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONCE AGAIN:D

(and lols! i fell asleep while using laptop! omg! guess i'm really sick and tired after this hectic week filled with tests! I kind of regretted for not doing a proper job in preparing for his bdae. tho the decorations n designs of the cards are done a few weeks ago, but the message written on it are kind of rush, tho drafted only on this week itself. anyway, thanks meng n ash for helpin out too(: haha.)-posted today 28aug.

2010-08-21T05:57:00.000-07:00

what more can i say, they are just AWESOME FRIENDS OF MINE! -CRAZZIES:D
little did i know that menghow actually do share my prbs with ashraf and both will actually discuss it tgt n come up with different pov. u wouldn't know how sweet they are! i'm so damn touch when meng sent me the convo that they had. really appreciate everything that they did for me(: i've really entered the right class and i'm sure that this year isn't wasted n its an important year in my life. what i wanted t say is, ' THANKS FOR BEING SUCH AN AWESOME LISTENING EAR N HELPING ME WITH ALL MY PRBS. MOST IMPORTANTLY, ALL THOSE COMMENTS THAT U ALL GAVE, BE IT POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE:D ITS REALLY HELPS INDEED.'

i seriously have lots to say t crazzies, but some appreciation just cant be described by words:( hope tt u all understand, and that i rlly love u all! may we remain as friends forever, and i rlly mean it(:

btw, lots of things happen recently.
i din't know tt things will happen in this way, and i seriously don mean to say it out, though i felt indignant when all decided t pon econs lecture. but i seriously blurt it out unknowingly. i'm seriously aren't good at telling lies or even helping them to cover up. what irritates me the most was oliver told the whole class that i was the one who say it out and i shld try t cover up sth liddat. hello? its my fault for not helping them t cover up? the lecturer asked if i'm sure my classmates did not take the letters, and my first reply was, they nv come how t take? i don mean t expose them(should i use this word), its just a natural reaction of me. sigh, alright, its over now and i shouldn't ponder over it. i truly hope that all of them are genuine in believing me.

the second issue is even more serious, and i don't know where and how t start. it still sent chill down my spine whenever i think bout it. and i appreciate what crazzies did for me-qiling helped me with the draft while ash n meng gave opinions and suggestions t me. it might seem that this matter is solved, but there's still lots of things that i wanna 'clarify', cos thr just some things that i don really understand. but it seriously affected my mood for the whole day and i DON BLAME changi cos its my fault tho:( even crazzies think tt i shouldn't have respond in tt way, which cos this situation t happen. anyway, its the first time tt i didn't finish one whole bowl of noodles, n i think meng is stunned by my actions tho. but i'm seriously gona cry, if changi gona ignore me the whole day. aww! ltr in the day, changi asked meng t join, but cos meng knew tt i need t clarify some things, so he didn't agree. but changi was still not himself. i showed changi the letter and i was rlly frightened at tt time. for a moment, i wish crazzies are by my side. i nearly cried when changi explained his actions, but i fought back my tears tho. i couldn't imagine what will happen if i cried out. whats more, there are just some things that i wanna say it out, but i can't! :( and i hate myself for behaving like this tho. i rmb, changi said sth related t rights, gosh! of cos changi has every right t do so. situation was back t normal again at ard 6pm, and i enjoyed the time that we had tgt(: seriously serious. lol. but, i'm still appalled by wat happened earlier. :( :( :(

2010-08-14T08:59:00.000-07:00

MY DEAR JUNIOR CELIA! PLEASE STAY STRONG N BRAVE! UR SENIORS WILL BE THERE FOR YOU WHEN U'RE FEELING DOWN!

went t attend funeral earlier in the evening just now. my junior's dad pass away yest. :( idk
how t console her, i afraid the more i say, the more depress she is. tho i understand how it is like when one's kin is gone, but i cant imagine how life will be without sb tt u lived so long with. lots of juniors n seniors from gz met up n went t attend the funeral today, all were in silence when we reached there. i hope celia's is fine now.
its a mini gathering today too, cos i finally meet up with my juniors, senior n friends after so long! especially my DI-rain!!! haha!!! chatted with rain, and he kept sayin i went missing for months, n didn't contact him! hello?! i've been online quite often recently, and especially active in fb tho. okay lah! at least we chatted today(: love my diii!

2010-08-13T21:29:00.000-07:00

friends have been saying that they see it as both parties having feelings for each other, but sometimes actions n words can be misleading tho! I don wanna give myself false hope u see, bcos i'm afraid tt i cant take this blow! i know i've been sharing with u all what happen and those convos tt we shared, and tho i seem jubilant over it, but i'm seriously telling myself tt it might just be my wishful thinking only! i rmb what ash said today, that, that was how n what he said t his Gf when he's trying t court her. so and all agreed tt he's been dropping hints. yup, tho sometimes i have this feeling too, but most of the time, i got the feeling tt i'm actually reading too much into it. I'm serious! as what i've mention earlier, ACTIONS N WORDS CAN BE MISLEADING!!!!! when u're actually having an affection(i'm not sure if this is the correct word t use, but..) for a particular person, u might think tt they are dropping hints, but sometimes it may turn out t be the other way round. i know i'm being negative about it now, but i doono why i just got this feelings recently:( i just love the times tt both of us spent tgt, the convos tt we had, and those little things tt we shared, but i'm starting t be negative bout it. it doesn't mean tt a guy and a girl gg out tgt alone would mean tt they had feelings for each other, they might just be treating each other as their best friends only, am i right t say tt? AWWW! ok, i think i shld stop, but i'm seriously quite confuse now! WHY WHY WHY??? :( :( :(

2010-08-08T02:05:00.000-07:00

:D :D :D
cant stop smiling t myself, things have been turning out well these few days. but i hate this long wkend, cos it'll be such a torture without.....
aww, nvm, i shall be grateful t what i have n what we did tgt. to all my friends knwing my secrets n stories, yup, tt day has been a great day(:

oh n this posting time is accurate mh, hahaha

2010-08-07T10:21:00.000-07:00

we were strangers starting out on a journey,
never dreaming what we'd t go thru,
now here we are, i'm suddenly standing at the beginning with you.
No one told me i was going t find you.
unexpected what u did t my heart.
when i lost hope, u were there t remind me, THIS IS THE START!

and life is a road i wanna keep going
love is a river i wanna keep flowing
life a road, now and forever, wonderful journey.

i'll be there when the world stops turning,
i'll be there when the storm is through,
in the end i wanna be standing at the beginning with you.

we were strangers on a crazy adventure.
never dreaming, how our dreams will come true.
now here we stand, unafraid of the future, at the beginning with you.

and life is a road i wanna keep going
love is a river i wanna keep flowing
life a road, now and forever, wonderful journey.

i'll be there when the world stops turning,
i'll be there when the storm is through,
in the end i wanna be standing at the beginning with you.

i knew there was somebody somewhere
like me alone in the dark
now i know my dream will live on
i've been waiting so long, nothing's gonna tear us apart.

life is a road i wanna keep going
love is a river i wanna keep going on..
starting out on a journey.

at the beginning with you...

2010-08-06T23:31:00.000-07:00

national day celb today.
went 313@somerset after tt.
after that, went ion orchard, bought oxy5 from waston(LOL) n pencil case from muji, then headed t wheelock place-borders, then to wisma atria(: sat down at food republic t have some rest before continuing our window shopping:D

2010-08-01T03:26:00.000-07:00

i seriously need someone that i can share my 'secrets' with, cos not all ur friends are sincere at lendin their listening ears, as in, they will still listen, but wat exactly are they thinkin as u tell them ur secrets will always be left unknown. i'm lookin for one tt i can seriously share my feeling towards my ec now, but sometimes maybe keeping them in my heart might be good too. sigh, this is damn irritating man! i need someone tt can seriously know how i feel towards my ec! lots of ppl tt i feel like calling now to share my sorrows; gw, ql, von, mh, serene, yc,... sigh. look at tt gw! everytime suan me when i tell him bout my ec! hais!!!! ps gw! HAHAHAH

2010-08-01T02:00:00.000-07:00

come t think about it, there are actually lots of happy moments that both of us shared, but there are also times when i feel like giving up. flashback after flashback starts appearing in my mind as i wrote this post. all these memories seemed so fresh in my, as if they all happened just days ago. almost half a year has past, and what i could do is to only reminisce on those memories, which somehow are of no purpose tho. However, they actually helped me t carry on with my life, motivates me, enables me t enjoy my jc's life, but all of these brought sorrows t my life too.
i enjoy the sweet moments tt we shared, maybe t me only. but sometimes, i can't sense the feeling tt i'm actually looking for. recently ago, we were alone somewhere else in sg. i totally love the feeling when there's only 2 of us. bcos i could crap lots of things, but when there are other ppl around, thr's nth i can say. but tt day was totally great n happening. ( maybe its wat i feel only) That day, i got this urge, but it subsided times after times. after tt, i told my friend bout it, and he told me t wait till everything is over den i say it out. okay, but thats abit difficult.

erm, alright, i shall carry on my life only to think of those happy memories.

2010-07-30T05:46:00.000-07:00

PTM today! relieved! was glad that ct nv give nasty comments((: he tried t motivates me, far more betteras compared t my last year ct. surprisingly, he didn't suan my parents n me about my grades! but as compared t last year, this year grades are considered good, maybe. alright shall be nice t my this year ct then. my parents came at around 6.30pm. didn't expect my mom t come too. lucky she came, i don need take train back with my dad alone, cos mom drove us home, and i slept all the way back home((:
dad n mom weren't angry or disappointed with me! ((: cos they know that i had somehow improve as compared t last year! they are kind of pleased with my econs- i got B, 97.3 percentile((:
math 70.9 percentile, phy extremely lousy-6.9 percentile, chem 69.4 percentile. at least, as compared t last year, almost all my percentile are above 50, great improvement maybe. but still need t work hard from now on. the feeling of making my parents pleased and satisfied with my results can actually brighten up my day!((: dad encourages me too and i could see tt he was quite happy too on our way back home, and should i say my mom too? at last she said sth pleasing, and tried t encourage me too, rather than dampening my fighting spirits. if not for their happy or satisfied mood, i wouldn't have the mood to sleep till so soundly tt i didn't even know we have arrived.
after walking down from the hall, outside lt4 there, i saw gw and his classmates. I actually saw him before i went for the ptm, but bcos i'm scared at that point in time, i don dare talk t him-scared of my parents. i cried when my parents arrived! gosh! was too scared tt i ran t ql and started tearing slighly. after tt, i went up with my parents t the hall, cos ql parents haven't arrive, n i'm gona be late for ptm. but as mentioned above, lucky ptm went well, if not i would have a terrible night and wkend. oh ya, so after the ptm, i ran towards gw and showed him my results slip, and he actually said i'm coming t show off! please ah! only can show off my econs results. they were surprised at my econs grade and percentile too, cos i actually win gw's last year percentile! haha! and weisheng tried t tease gw by saying partly bcos of the efforts of teachers and others friends but not bcos gw's teaching!! HAHA!!! okay la! i shall thank gw offically! THANK YOU MY DEAR FRIEND LIM GUAN WEI!((: happy alr?haha! my mom wans me t thank you too for coaching me in econs! my mom rarely thanks any of my friends tho! arent u touch? my mom even wanted t give u a free ride home too, but i didn't ask u, cos she only say this after she drove me out of the sch! ps ah gw!

anyway, I'M TOTALLY IN A GOOD MOOD TODAY! COS MY PARENTS ARE HAPPY TOO! BUT TT STUPID FLU IS BACK IN ACTION AGAIN! i couldn't even count how many times i sneeze while reading this post)):

oh the date all tt are correct, its only the time tt is not accurate, menghow! haha!

2010-07-28T07:52:00.000-07:00

we went phy lab for physic lesson today! and guess what, we were actually playing with matches!!! one after another match sticks were being lighted up! the whole lab is filled with match sticks smell!!! and mr mark lim actually said this to us, 'how many cigarettes do u all actually smoke?'
LOL! lots! ashraf, menghow, qiling and i were totally enjoying ourselves! we are actually suppose t perform the experiment,but all were too excited t play with the matches! but we did perform the experiment in the end okay. ((: ashraf's uniform almost caught fire! haha! after having fun playing with the matches, ashraf they all turned t playing the ice instead!!! omg! how childish!(jk) LOL!

was kinda sad after sch today tho...bcos kinda affected by f(x) and also the results tt yinv gotten back)):

2010-07-28T07:38:00.000-07:00

ptm will be on friday- a horrifying day! on monday after our math tut, our ct came in and wanted us t call our parents t comfirm the timing by that day. so no choice, i called my mom and asked if my dad will be working on friday, while i'm talking t my mom, i cried)): i dont really know why anyway, but i was rlly helpless at that moment! i just couldn't control my tears as i told my mom bout the ptm. Qiling found out tt i was crying and came t console me! i seriously appreciate tt, girl! ((: thr's a moment after i hanged up my phone, and i was tryin t look for you, but u were nowhere t be seen)): but thanks for helping me tell cher bout my timing on the meeting.

i felt that i had seriously disappointed my dad! i don really feel sorry towards my mom, cos she just don understand how hard i'm actually trying and those pressure i'm facing now! but i knew my dad will be seriously upset when friday arrives! but i still hope that econs and chem could help make me result slip looks nicer tho. I hate myself for not doing well in the mid-year and that my dad needs t put up with those criticism again! )): i let u down, dad! i'm sorry! )):

2010-07-28T07:20:00.000-07:00

i've no choice but i seriously need t voice it out! why are some people who are just so arrogant, so so effing annoying?
i totally dislike ny staff members!(those tt work in the school office!) gosh! they are just so damn arrogant! hello??? u are the one tt actually need t treat us nicely, and not the other way round! u are the one that are suppose t serve us, as in help us out, but whats the attitude that u gave us??? GOSH GOSH GOSH!!! its such a disgrace....
i nv want t communicate with them, but bcos my friends need t paytheir sch fees, or update their student pass, i gotta followed them to the office, but the attitude they gave t my friends are damn annoying! staff(or should i say teachers?) shouldn't treat students in this manner! >< they just thought that they are of a higher status than us and that they could treat us in whatever manner they want and we have t treat them back with full respect! yucks! i hate it when one thinks he/she is more PRINCIPAL(:

2010-07-27T05:25:00.000-07:00

i don understand why do i have such a brother? LOL, i'm seriously speechless! all my other friends have a caring n understanding brother, but mine? as in, he cares, but in a wrong way! and i just hate the character of his)):

2010-07-25T16:05:00.000-07:00

gosh gosh gosh! 4 oct is the promo exam! OMG!
there's seriously no time left for me t idle around or even daydream!
i started my first phy tuition today; home tuition, and i realised that how WEAK i'm in physic)): this cant go on man! 4oct!!! PROMO!!!! if i don clear the promos, i dono what i will do to myself)):

PHYSIC!!! why cant u be friends with me???? why are u so difficult t understand? WHY?
i'm afraid i'm gonna fail promo phy again! SHUCKS!
gotta pass all my phy lecture test then, or else i'll be dead)):

econs? hope i'll pass promo econs. but i'm still abit confuse about those concepts, and i got no econs tuition alr)):
math? gotta pass no matter what, and its definitely not gg t b a border line pass, i must at least get a C grade for math.
chem? need t pass too, but i always can't break the record of getting a D grade)): how disappointing!

WORRIED WORRIED WORRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-07-25T01:53:00.000-07:00

ohwells, i did nth today:(
econs test on mon, but i'm not yet prepared for it!
and my stupid laptop just refuse t let me watch youtube videos! ));

2010-07-21T00:21:00.000-07:00

The mid-year has finally come t an end. All papers are given back, which means i got back all my results! and i decided t post this cos i'm kind of happy but at the same time disappointed with my results. should i say i improve or should i not?
the good news is i PASSED MY ECONS!!!! awesome ya? haha! its all thanks t my dear friends who helped me along the way((: (definitely not bcos of the tuition! which i don even find it useful at all)
A BIG THANK YOU TO GW, SERENE n HONG SHIH ((: i wouldn't have really understand the concepts well if not for you all. and of cos, as u guys know, a special n personal thanks t... of cos! ((: (ya, don find it weird tho i mention it twice, but he's rlly sweet, the way he tried his best t make me understand econs.) (argh! menghow, don u dare try t tease me bout this again ya? (: )
and guess what? my first time taking econs, n i scored relatively well(a pat on my shoulders!), but i'm afraid tt i might not score as well as i do for the promo)): nevertheless, i unexpectedly beat an egoisic guy in my econs class!!! HAHAHA!!! n gw said i might even be the top 5 percent for econs, hope so. but i didn't break this good news t my parents still.
i pass my chem but failed math n phy tho. was expecting math, chem n econs t pass, but in the end, i failed math, which seriously demotivates me! fortunately i managed t pass econs, which somehow i see a ray of hope for scoring well for promos(at least able t pass 2 H2 subj)!
However, i'm seriously upset becos of the stupid phy! never in my life have i scored a single digit for phy before! something is wrong with me! i need t change tt attitude of mind when dealing with phy ques! i think i got scared when i couldn't do the first few ques of both paper 1 n 2)):

anyway, i should continue mugging and hope tt i could pass econs, math n chem during promo! i got t clear this promo exam, or my last chance will be gone)): JIAYOU! ((:

2010-07-20T08:19:00.000-07:00

lots n lots of thoughts came flooding into my mind everytime i watched WGM)):
how great it will be if someone actually helped me t carry my bag! it'll definitely be so damn sweet(even if tt person isn't ur ec!)
how great it will be if i could have a BF whom i can share all my joys n sorrows with)):
i nv use t envy those tt are in relationships! but now, i'm starting too! maybe bcos i'm seriously in love with f(x)! but i lack the courage of telling f(x)! seriously, things will change if i were t confess, be it good or bad!
but ever since i watched WGM, seeing how sweet YH is to SH, my heart totally melt! scenes of us tgt kept flashing into my mind! somehow i have the urge of telling f(x) but..still.. i got no courage!
i seriously envy SH n YH! they are so sweet to each other! ((:

sigh! my feelings, my thoughts! who will ever understand? sometimes its even hard when u try t tell ur friends bout ur feeling towards towards f(x)! tt make me even more upset! )):

2010-07-11T21:25:00.001-07:00

top 3 songs of the day
1. no other (suju)
2. i'm a loner (CN blue)
3. love (CN blue)

2010-07-11T20:50:00.000-07:00

honestly speaking, i really find tt FBT is such a sweet guy((: totally melted my heart!!! )):
he's really really sweet! if u know bout those stories, u might agree with me too. AWWW)): how i hope GOD will grant us power n let us succeed in whatever things tt we are suppose t do)): PLEASE GOD! it's our only chance left, let us succeed kay???

alright, i seriuosly need thank someone too-MENG HOW!!!
u are damn good at consoling ppl ya! hahah! last friday, i was so damn emo over my phy paper, cos i handed in a blank script for the first time in my whole study life)): i couldn't believe it man!!!! was really devasated tt i wanted t tell the whole world, including FBT,but i don have the courage. so i told lots of my other friend including meng how!!! and guess what mh did? almost all the msg tt he replied are long n he said tt CRAZZIES WILL GET PROMOTED TGT!!!!! omg! the statement finally lighted up my day!!!! hahah! there's actually so much for me t say, but i donno where n how t continue, so A BIG THANK YOU T YOU MENGHOW!!!!! do share your burden with me too((:

2010-07-11T20:07:00.000-07:00

its PW week for the j1s right after the midyear exam, so i'm totally n absolutely free this week((: WOOHOO!!!! went t watch movie-triple tap(okay lah, not too bad), toy story3(nice, not bad, quite funny tho), karate kid!!!!(THE BEST MAN!!!! cried like siao in the cinema). oh my gosh!!! i'm so damn broke after watching so many movies, but at least i gained an 'experience'. :P

hmmm, come t think bout it, its my fourth time(?) watching movie with a new clique(?) usually i watch movie with my secondary sch clique, last year went with my juniors t watch '17again' n o9 classmates t watch 'my girlfriend is an agent'. this year was with the 3 guys t watch triple tap n toystory3 and karate kid with qiling n yvonne((:

on wednesday, the movie ended at around 230pm, but bcos i have tuition at 6pm, i couldn't go home, so we went t stroll around plaza sing. OMGGG! its rlly tiring man! cos we are just walking around aimlessly!!!! )): n the 2 guys just refuse t say whats on their mind, cos i kind of know tt they have something on, but bcos i'll alone, they donn wana t pangseh me)): LOL!! told them i can walk around omw, but they insisted on followin! >< i felt so damn guilty can? )): but still wanna thank them for acc-ing me, tho i felt tt i wasted their precious time)):

anyway, i shall emphasis on karate kid! haha!!! wonder what will happen if i were t watch this movie with them?!! HAHAHA!!! will i still weep silently or cry loudly? cos normally even if i watch movie like monga, with my bestie, i will only weep silently(ps mah), but for karate kid, i totally cried out without fear of letting qiling know! why??? HAHA!!! tt bcos she cried more loudly than i did, so i'm not afraid of letting her know tt i cry too!! HAHA!! she's too emotional lah! i'm better in controlling my feelings as compared t her! HOHHOO!!!

love DRE's attitude! i gotta learn more from him!

2010-06-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

happy 18th birthday chunkit((:

2010-06-15T22:47:00.000-07:00

life has been a great pleasure because it has many corners. some corners are thrilling while some are filled with surprises. be it thrilling or surprises, u have t experience it yourselves.

2010-06-08T00:27:00.000-07:00

its 8june. wat have i revised over the past fews day?

MATH-induction, graphin, recurrence(still need lots of practice on tt), inequality
PHY-haven even touch on it yet
CHEM-chemical bonding,intermolecular bond, atomic structure
ECONS-studied, but i donno wat i'm studying!!!! die! :(((((((((

meng how is back from australia!! YAY!!! ashraf's still at NY:( gw,fiona,james went australia on 5june. aww!!! many many of my friends are overseas! ...sad! i miss all my friends!!!! :((((

2010-06-07T23:46:00.000-07:00

bro drove us t sentosa today:D went t tour around n had our lunch at din tai feng:D totally scrumptions! walk around and realise tt sentosa indeed change alot. didn't go universal studios-tickets sold out, n i don intend t go thr( shall go japan's universal studios). we bought t the popcorn-chicago mix>cheese n caramel. hate cheese, love caramel popcorn(:
one day i shall go sentosa with my fellow friends(:

xiao long bao:D

2010-06-06T09:39:00.000-07:00

I MISS HIM:( BUT I DON HAVE T COURAGE T TALK TO HIM ON9:( AWWWWW

2010-06-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

WHEN LIFE THROWS YOU A CURVE BALL, U JUST HAVE T DEAL WITH IT NO MATTER WHAT.

2010-06-04T22:54:00.000-07:00

was down with flu on 31 may and tho i took medicine, the flu doesn't seem t go away:(
been suffering for the past few days:( cant stop sneezing:'( can someone just turn off the tap in my nose???

its alr 5 june, and wat have i done? study? nono! i think i'm just slacking away doing nth. this got to be STOPPED!!! where's my engine t start studying??? where is it? sigh! and i had a stupid nightmare in the morning-dream tt i failed my Alvl:( sigh! oh man! i'm seriously starting t fear exams esp major exam:( i'm nv like this before! the only time was during chinese olvl paper-i cried before the start of the exam;maybe bcos i fear tt i cant get an A.

this yr mid-yr is damn impt t me! yet no action has been taken! wats the point of fearing when no action is done????? whats wrong with me? :( :( :(

stupid FLU!!!! :(

2010-06-03T07:21:00.000-07:00

i found back my usual self(:
its really amazing! i'm starting t laugh(like how i did when i'm in sec sch), smile more often, feels great going t sch everyday, talks more often..in short, everything just change! tt's why it's important to have AWESOME FRIENDS N CLASSMATES(:

ever since feb 2010, i've been enjoying my sch life(: initially, i was still telling t myself tt 2010 shall not exist for me..but now, it's actually an important chapter in my life. the year tt makes me wanna move on no matter what, maybe becos of the various factors associated to it.
honestly, i didn't rlly enjoyed my life last yr, maybe bcos there's nth for me t anticipated, nth tt excited me, nth t makes me laugh, nth! its only until the last few mths, that i finally found a friend tt i could somehow rlly (sincerely)crap,joke n laugh with. i even tour around taiwan with her(: and tt's yien chen. i do enjoy the companion of my other friends too-mat, hh n jr(: BUT i still find sch life meaningless-i realised tt almost everythin i did last yr weren't totally from the bottom of my heart:(

HOWEVER, maybe its a right choice tt GOD make me leave tt class since i wasn't rlly happy there. and so, i became alive again! the lively tracy is finally back when i entered this AWESOME CLASS(: I LOVE 'CRAZZIES'( crazy club);which is make up of ashraf, menghow, qiling n me. AND ALSO FBT-my love(:
all these ppl make up my JC life(: cant stop laughin everyday in sch n cant stop smiling t myself too, thou i got annoyed or maybe jealous at times. but these are all the feelings that make me find myself back! i no longer complain t GW about my class, but rather telling him bout wat happen in class, and things tt WE did tgt(: till gw was kind of irritated n longer wish t hear my story:(
but nvm, at least i smile more than i did last yr! SO TRACY! CARRY ON WITH UR LIFE N DON FORGET UR GOALS THIS YR(: YOU CAN DO IT(:

2010-05-29T23:13:00.000-07:00

he's on9, but i donno wat t say t him:( wanna talk t him, but....
wat can i do????? going to orchard later alone. save me ppl! i'm starting t dislike holidays n my foolish act:(

2010-05-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

i'm totally feeling vexed now!!! i bought it alr but... how? i asked my bro for help tho. ARGH!!!! HOW HOW HOW??????????????????

2010-05-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

SL today at FAR EAST(: we went FAR EAST there but unfortunately we got chase by the security guard. oh well! we didn't even go inside the mall...we just merely stood outside the mall! nah nvm then... in the end we went scouts square's pavement n started selling our stuff. i made the first move by approaching the ppl...but got rejected. in the end, a women came putting in money inside our tin(: HAHA!!! 'first costumer' of the day! we are actually suppose to sell the 2 bucks stuff the t ppl which consists of one swensen 1-1 voucher n a heart foundation keychain...but many just donate any amount of money and some gave 10bucks without taking the stuff...gotta beg them t take too! haha(: overall SL went wel today! lots were fun t tease with! especially guys(: HAHAHA!!! some were even from our sch(graduated)...n they supported us by buying(: BUT LOTS WERE DAOING US!!!! we talked t them...they ignored us n gave tt stupid face! feel like giving them a slap n teach them some manners!
PLEASE GIVE SOME RESPONSE WHEN SOMEONE IS TALKING T YOU K??? WATS THE POINT OF BEING SO PRETTY N HANDSOME WHEN U DON EVEN GIVE OTHERS THE SIMPLIST MANNERS! THIS IS RIDUCULOUS! YOU JUST SUCK T THE CORE! N DON DESERVE MY THANKYOU! i just cant imagine tt those tt look so well-groom, modern n full of confidence but just lack of manners! YUCKS!!! HATE THIS KIND OF PPL!!!! i only say thankyou t a certain ppl who i think they deserve it! so i'm sorry if anyone one of you happen t read this blog n happen t pass by scouts square pavement today, hearing n seeing three girls saying" hi! would you like t make a donation?" but didn't say thankyou t you! BECOS U JUST DON DESERVE IT!!!!!
i even rmb ql n I doing lots of funny n annoyed actions when those rude ppl pass by us! worst still! one angmo even tell her child to keep going when the child the mom wat we are doing!!! JUST WAT KIND OF SOCIETY ARE WE TURNING INTO??? WHERE ARE THOSE MANNERS N TEACHING TT WE LEARN FROM SCH????? ITS SO DAMN DISAPPOINTING!!!!!!! TEENAGERS N THOSE 20-40YRS OLD WOMEN SHOULDN'T BEHAVE LIKE THIS! THE COMPASSION WITHIN THEM IS LOST! :( ><>

2010-05-16T06:49:00.000-07:00

NU ABO IS JUST SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

2010-05-16T06:46:00.000-07:00

on friday, i wasn't angry, but i still left.... i just couldn't be my usual self so i left again n went to find my other friend. but i'm glad i didn't lost my temper(: n i shouldn't anyway.

2010-05-16T06:41:00.000-07:00

I NEED ECONS TUITION!!!! BUT WHERE CAN I FIND ONE AWESOME TUTOR?
gp tuition, it's just so fun!!!! i learnt alot from Ms ho! but nevertheless, i'm startin to sleep in her lesson): nt because it's boring but because i'm rlly tired): i rmb on last wed, i even drool while sleeping during tuition!!!! AWWWW!!! but, to my surprise, Guanwei was sleeping too!!! HAHAHA!!!!!
but before i went for tuition, i just enjoyed those moment we had tgt!!!!! with no interruption(:

2010-05-06T21:22:00.000-07:00

lots of things happen lately.

today, after physic lecture test, i cried. but why? was it because i'm overly concern bout the results? i was nv like this before, maybe because of qiling n hs influence. right after phy lecture test today, i suddenly got lots of mixed feelings. was staring blanking at the stage when yvonne came to console me, followed by qiling. I was bout to wipe, but decided to stay strong. but after tt qiling came n said this t me, it's okay..blah blah blah...which i suddenly couldn't take it anymore n burst into tears! soon after tt, MOMO came. i dono why i felt kind of embarrass, so decided to stop crying n leave. i didn't know they will be there( whr they still wanted to console me maybe), which kind of surprises me again. (:
but i reckon tt i cried maybe bcos there's just too much things tt happen recently n bcos i rlly study for this test, i cant afford to fail. n even i didn't study, I RLLY CANT AFFORD TO FAIL!!!! this cant happen again! where's my fighting spirits? i goonna find them back NOOW!!!!

2010-05-03T17:22:00.000-07:00

when one's gone, we decide t treasure them. but when they are alive, do we ever think of teasuring them n the moment tt we have tgt?

its just happen so sudden(to his parents). how can they ever imagine tt their son tt leave for sch in the morning, but lays in the hospital bed at evening? it's definitely a huge blow to them. imagine, the mom is waiting for her son to come home for dinner, but... she nv know tt yesterday was their last family dinner:( and that guy might have so much undone taks n yet to realise wishes, but... imagine tt his parents have to send off their son during the wake?(how can they take it?) back at home, every single corner reflects the images of the family together:( how can she take it again????
he's just a few months away from Alevel, its's such a pity. R.I.P maybe in the other world, u could complete ur mission.

2010-04-23T06:42:00.000-07:00

QL, Mh n i went MAC for lunch today. cos we are seriously craving for MAC since 10am.
so during the 1.5hrs of break(12.30-2pm), we went serangon central to have our lunch, after that we went to PLAY THE SWING!!! its been so long ever since i sat onn the swing and the feeling of soaring into the sky is so damn shiok(cant use words to describe)!!! i just love the feeling so much! was so damn happy until we went for chem tut.
was happy at first cos i got 21/30 for my chem lecture test. but after tt, i was so angry or maybe its becos of J tt i started to feel bs again. ql was even more agitated that she use her paper to block the hideous sight of them! sigh! life's getting more n more difficult for me! LOL! FBT, but afterwards...everything went well again!!! so damn well tt sometimes i would smile to myself:P

2010-04-23T06:39:00.001-07:00

i just realised all this while its the jealousy that caused me to bs:(
so every now and then, my emotions are being affected greatly, but wat can i do?

2010-04-23T06:37:00.000-07:00

searching for something call COURAGE
searching for something call CHERISH
searching for something call LOVE
searching for you!

2010-04-21T08:46:00.000-07:00

I FORGOT ALL BOUT MY REVENGE TILL I READ MY OLDER POST!!! COME ON TRACY!!! WAT DID U SWEAR TO URSELF WHEN 2009 END???
COME ON DON FORGET UR REVENGE!!!! START NOW!!!!!

2010-04-11T08:10:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GUANWEI(:
hope u enjoyed ur day n th surprises(:

2010-04-03T05:35:00.000-07:00

i'm starting to feel emo again! for no reasons, or maybe there is, but i just cant find it:(
wkends make me emo. but why?
i'm so fustrated nowadays but i dono why too!!!
can anyone tell me the reasons?
sometimes, back at home, when my mom talk to me, i just don feel like replying her. but when i reply, i speak in an irritated tone! and my parents just don understand why!!!
even i'm unsure of wats happening to ME :'(
MOOD SWING??? don seem like!!!!
its the feeling tt i feel like crying for reason!!!
JUST WATS WRONG WITH ME????
i've been gg on9 too often nowadays...but i have nth to do when i'm on9 except for chatting with my friends. (i'm kind of happy when i see him on9, but sometimes i just feel like ignoring him..cos i donno wat to chat with him)
EMOmaybe bcos of studies; love; friends; chers?
too much things happening tt i rlly cant take it anymore!
gw told me to top in my class(but can i rlly do it?)
love? its just so complicated!!! how i wish tt my feelings for him nv start. but if not bcos of him, there's no meaning for me to go sch, no meaning for me to laugh, no motivations for me to do well in my studies.

tthere's just so much things tt i wanted to say, but i rlly dono wat to say!!! COMPLICATED!!!!!!!!! I JUST HATE TT FEELING!!!!!!~!

2010-03-27T20:10:00.001-07:00

my heart just hurt so much! its damn pain!!! i have no mood for everything! just feel like crying! but who will ever understand my pain????
i tot it'll be a miracle but after tt day....
will i ever be able to enter ur heart? will u ever rlly notice me? would i even wan to let u know my feelings towards you????

2010-03-27T19:50:00.000-07:00

i'm so damn angry tt day tt i tried to supress my anger in front of them! i wanted to cry, wanted to walk away...but i don have the courage! so i tried to study, try to focus, but i just cant do it! den later my other friends came, but i didn't notice them(cos too angry)
i told my friend bout it, she told me to just leave, don care. but again i just can't do it! i felt so invisible there. one of them tried to talk to me, but the other kept interupting, so in the end, i gave up talking to the BOTH OF THEM!!!! my junior came, so i decide to acc her and i finally left the table, but she gave me tt 'y u ditch me' face. HELLO??? who's the one who is ps-ing me? i'm so angry tt i replied in a harsh tone, ' my junior alone lei!!!' n i walked away!!!!
she's the one who said she wanted to study....but she nv!!!! she was talking with my other friend bout her ec!!!! i was so damn angry tt i said this to her: u wan ur ec or him???
they just chat n chat n chat tt i don wanna study with them again! next week will be math n econs lecture test!!! but i'm feel so angry n sad tt i rlly have no mood to study!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-14T06:43:00.001-07:00

i missing you!!!
would you know?
would i ever want u to know?
i'm so confused now!!!!

2010-03-12T19:19:00.001-08:00

ok! since gw wanted so much things n he desires so much!!! i shall list mine too!!! hahaha

I want excellent results
I want iphone/i touch
I want new bagpack(not v big or small,but can bring to sch)
I want Bf
I want camera(not digital)
I want buy contact lens
I want celb for my Bd
I want sch days back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-11T20:47:00.000-08:00

I admit tt i'm selfish at times. but who aren't selfish?
u wouldn't want others to be close to the person tt u like isn't?
its just a human mentality tt cant be changed.

how i wish tt i can stick with him all the time, but tt's not possible. becos i still need to care bout all my gf's feeling. u might ask if he's my eyecandy or not, but after much thoughts, I don think so. an lian maybe?

2010-03-04T01:50:00.000-08:00

hey ppl! its my first time late for 730 lesson!!! so damn scare cos i nv do econs hw and i'm gonna be late for his lesson. so i decided to do my work on my way to sch since there's a traffic jam!!!! and end up tt cher mention tt whoever is the last person to come will be the econs rep!!! and i kena become econs rep cos the last two person decided to skip econs tut?!!! what the hell!!!!!!!

2010-03-04T01:39:00.001-08:00

oh!!! life is so great now adays!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love my class so much!!! damn 'noisy'(in a good way)
ahhha!!!! enjoying life to the fullest!!!
okay i once told guanwei tt i donn wan to celebrate my 18th birthday...cos i feel tt 2010 does not exist at all for me! but yest, i decided to change my mind!!!! cos of some other reasons!!! hahaha
so decided to celebrate my 18th birthday!!!! hahahaha
been staying back after sch to study these few days!!! ___________!!! u will nv understand unless u are the one tt heard about my story!!! hoho X]
and ppl!!! be anticipated to see a change in my shoes on sat!!! hahahah

2010-02-24T22:59:00.000-08:00

its like i have so much to say, so much to blog, so much to vent my anger, but i just dono where to start!!!!!
time n tech is rlly not on my side! my post on taiwan trip hasn't finish if u notice!!!
and here i have so much stories to tell!!!!!
ahaha!!!!
just damn angry yesterday! for those tt had listen to my story will know wat i'm talking about! up till now i'm stilll quite piss off with the STUPID 2!!!!!! whats so big deal about them?
idiot!!!!!!!

2010-02-19T05:29:00.000-08:00

I'VE CHANGED!!!!
I THINK I HAVE RLLY CHANGED!!!
no longer laugh as loud n as long as i used to be!!!

2010-01-31T19:15:00.000-08:00

I'M GIVEN ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY, SO I SHALL START WORKING ON IT AND MOVE ON BRAVELY!!!!

ITS TIME TO TAKE REVENGE IN 2010!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-31T19:08:00.000-08:00

okay, CNY is round the corner!
i'm so looking forward to it!!!
new clothes??? let me count.
2 dresses, 2 blouses from taiwan, one skirt from taiwan, 4 shorts, 2 jackets from taiwan, 4 shirts etc...
haha
but i still feel tt i didn't buy enough clothes!!! haven buy shoe yet!!! gonna buy tml!!! yay!!!!!

2010-01-19T20:39:00.000-08:00

alright,i was too lazy to update on my taiwan trip..so before i forget wat happen during my trip to taiwan, i shall start bloggin!!!

5 DEC 2009

early in the morning, around 615am, we arrived at Taoyuan international airport. its doesn't look as modern as our airport..but..its OKAY!! haha. we went to take our luggugae and went to wait for the rest at the arrival hall. i went to tour around the place...and i saw this HUGE poster of FARENHEIT welcoming tourist to Taiwan!!! (haha! i wanted to take out my camera, but i decided not to..so i regretted so much for not taking the pic!!!!! ><)
okay after tt, our tour guide(from taiwan) introduced himselves and we proceed on to the bus! our first destination: local breakfast! we arrived...but..the food don seems delicious..so i nv eat much(cos not feeling well too)..after tt we arrived at our second destination: tamsui fishermen's wharf. we took lots of pics at the lover's bridge!!! yay!!! i crossed the lover's bridge!!!(so tt means i will have a lover soon!!!! hahaha)
lunch eaten(too many dishes!!!) and we proceed to chiang kai shek memorial hall. normally, everytime i went oversea, i would definitely sleep in the bus! but this time, i decided to stay awake throughout the whole!!!( cos i wanna listen to taiwan's history and some stories tt the tour guide would tell us, which i find it both funny and meaningful!!!)
lastly we arrived at taipei 101!!!! woohoo!!!! we took the lift up(so fun!!! u could feel the pressure when the lift went up!) okay...so we tour around 101 building and took lots of pics too! we bought souvenir there. after tt we went back to the hotel and ate our dinner there!!!
tml morning call: 630am!!!!

2010-01-10T21:50:00.000-08:00

"EVERY FRESH FAILURE LEADS PEOPLE TO RELIVE THE EVENTS OF LAST FALL AND TO TAKE EVASIVE ACTION"

2009-12-31T21:28:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! 2010 IS HERE!!!

I LOVE YOU( MY FRIENDS) :D

and so, i'm going to live differently!!!

2009-12-26T07:51:00.000-08:00

4 DEC 2009

packing and checking of luggage in the morning, lunch at chong pang in the afternoon,
rest in the evening and off to the airport at 8pm after watching TV drama. taxi there!!!
once again, the feeling upon arrival at the airport surge up again-the feeling of
pushing ur luggage, entering the airport!!!

our gathering time was 11.30pm, flight on 0150am. but we decided to reach the
airport earlier to have our lunch there!!! but its so troublesome to push
the 'trolley' around! (:
so finally settled dowm for dinner, den went shop shop for a while!
finally 1130pm! and we started to check in.
at 0100am we started boarding the plane! (:
off we SORE IN THE SKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-12-26T07:49:00.000-08:00

honestly, i hadn't got the time to upload photos and update my blog about my trip to taiwan!!!
but every details of the seven days feels so fresh in my mind!!! the feeling at taiwan was totally amazing!!!

2009-11-23T19:08:00.000-08:00

okay! I shall look at the bright side and carry on with my life!!!
its not a big deal too!!!

maybe a better life frm nxt yr onwards???

but the feeling for everything just change!!! :(

lol! nvm! going to taiwan to SAN XIN soon!!! hope the clock ticks slower so the day spent there wouldn't end so soon!

AWW!!! but i just don like the feeling of being LB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-14T23:00:00.000-08:00

ooh!!!! she's damn pretty!!!!!!
love park bom!!!!

2009-11-12T05:15:00.000-08:00

oh oh!!!!
i must say this out!!! no matter wat!!!!
WTH!!!! u know wat my grp leader says???
right after the op ended, he say okay!!! this group is now dismissed!!!!!!!
waoh!!!! do u rlly hate this grp so much??>
though there were conflicts...but i don rlly take tt in mind!!!!!lol!!!!
even when u all tried to scold us!!! i don mind too lo!!!
but wat??? dismissed?
right after we stepped out from our room, we were seperated!!! only the three of us stick together!!
hais!!!! forget it la!!! wat can i do?
the two of them think we ill-treat them..lol!!!
we bs u also nv say anything...u all bs us...den purposely shout in front of the whole class, somemore infront of MR SOH!!! purposely can!! wan cher to know meh??? den go around telling other groups about the 3 of us!!!! like we are the crimmal u all are the VICTIMS!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA
pls la! its not tt we don wan u to do anything...but its like...almost all the strategies are my ideas!!(not almost ,is all!!!!!)
i know u wanted to help, but what can u help with?
its like i can ask u if i donno wat to write right??!!!!

den the grp leader lei???
so wat "NI MEN KE YI ZUN ZHONG WO MA????? WO SHI ZU ZHANG LEI???"
SO WHAT???
what did u contribute to the grp? ur part was the least okay?
everything was like, me yc n hh helped u all to wrap up. even reminders was sent by hh to the whole grp! so u rlly think u are the grp leader la? its only a position tt we don wan so we asked u to do!!! but u nv did ur part as a grp leader!!! not tt i don wan argue with! its becos SOH was there, so i tolerate!!!
that day...u were like soo stupid, making a foool out of urself infront of the whole class; presenting, disturbing the other grp, and insists on presenting at 3pm!!! HELLO???
we are down there editing everybody slides, making it look more like a grp whole...and u down there think u VERY BIG AR?????
so wat happen then? u think only u have temper i don have rite???wan challenge me rite? so end up lei??!! who suffer? its not me okay!!!its u all!!
the other grp were like, 'JB can u shut up????' but u still wan to went on and on!!!
okay fine!!! i tolerated...but its was at this point..u said this "ni men san ge hao le mei?'
what!!!!??? so u think u finished ur slides u are great lah???
so i shouted back!" WE HELPING U EDIT UR SLIDES OKAY!!! NI YI WEI HEN HAO WAN HUH????"
think i no temper la!!! the moment i shouted...the whole class went silent...no one dare say a word...den XX was like 'oh tracy fa biao lei' ya i was!!! becos i cannot tolerate anymore!!!! they think they are the only one with temper, we don hav!!!! so i went on and on scolding him..teling him how wrong his slides was!!!!
DON TRY CHALLENGE ME OKAY!~!!!!! U WILL NV WIN!!!! I CAN RLLY SCOLD SOMEONE!! and u are like the first friend in my lifetime, tt get a scolding from me!!!!

pw helps to bond friendship???not rlly can!!! it only help to deepens hatred!!!
wahahaha

2009-11-12T04:46:00.000-08:00

OP ended today!!!
i was so happy!!! happy not because it ended, but becos I PRESENRED MYSELF WELL!!!!!
i wasn't nervous at all, seriously speaking! its true! its like i got no feel for it! its only after my presentation ended, and i return to my seat, den i starting feeling nervous! i feel like i was another person when i was presenting! i was so loud, so full of confidence, staring right into the assesors eyes!!!
oh man!!! can u ever imagine tt? TRACY KOK LEI!!! NOT NERVOUS AT ALL LEI!!!! hahaha
:D :D :D
we started off with a skit!!! and i'm somehow the MAIN ACTRESS!!! was so happy that the other grp in the room laughed when i acted. hahaha!!!(means its still funnY!! i was so worried...if they don even make any sound!!!)

but i do stumble upon my words! --i talked about another point..which was not the point shown in the screen!!! shucks....so i was like using all the connectors to link back t my point!!! hahaha
i didn't take the cue cards up!!! WELL DONE RIGHT????
hahaha
was kind of enjoying myself then! my room ppl are like so friendly!!! we told each other our ques...and helped each other ans the ques!!! AWWW!!! i feel so touch!!!! so touch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
was so glad that my room ppl are friendly and not those 'DAO' group!! hehe
the other grp rocks can!!! ming ting was like smiling at me everytime i looked at her(during my presentation)!! i think tt was also part of my reason for not being nervous? (: (:

but my QnA sucks!!!
the teacher asked a very SIMPLE QUES!!!!!!! but....
i nv rlly think, i'm not like my other grp mates who someone pause for super long to think about their ans(i wasn't saying they are not good..was saying..i cant rlly be like them)
its like..they take 50 secs to think, i like take 2 secs to think!(wasn't even thinking can!!!!stupid loh!!!!!!!)
as sooon as the teacher asked the ques....i quickly blurred out my ans!!oh man!! so stupiD!! ended up from my first sentence to the last sentence...i was still talking about the same point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahaha....then the other grp was like( opps...she said wrongly liao) hahha
den the cher gave me the HUH face...and both the teachers took quite a long time to discuss, and so the second ques was surfaced..and i think my second ans was kind of A LITTLE BIT better than the first!!! oh shucks!!!
but the chers are still nice afterall(: cos they tried to question me another ques (a second chance???? hahaha)

alright!!! op ended...so no point thinkong about tt!!! and MY OP GRP WAS DISMISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!YAY~!!!!!!(don need suffer liao!!!!!!) u dono wat happen during the op!!! if u were there...u will also jump down the buildinG!!!! ~~

2009-10-24T05:08:00.000-07:00

its been TWENTY-SEVEN DAYS since i like KOREAN BAND-BIG BANG!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA(:

2009-10-23T07:28:00.000-07:00

AM I STUPID OR WAT?
IT'S NOT EVEN ALEVEL AND I'M STARTING TO FAIL SO MANY SUB!!!
JUST WATS WRONG WITH ME???
DIDN'T I STUDIED?
DIDN'T I PUT IN EFFORT?
BUY WHY???
WHEN I EXPECT THAT MY MATH WOULD PASS..BUT END UP IT FAIL!!!( THAT RLLY DEMORALISED ME!)
PHY? IT WASN'T DIFFICULT!!! BUT I JUST DUNNO WHY, WHEN IT COME TO MAJOR EXAM, WHATEVER I HAVE STUDIED, I SEEM TO FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT!!!!!! (I RLLY HATE MYSELF!!!!)
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?
WHY WHY WHY?
I'M TOTALLY SAD!!! TOTALLY TOTALLY TOTALLY!!!!!
ITS THE SADDEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!
BEEN CRYING N CRYING EVER SINCE I WENT HOME....BEEN STUFFING MYSELF WITH LOTS OF FOODS!!!! BUT WILL IT EVER CAHNGE ANYTHING?
I RLLY DON WAN TO RETAIN!!!
BUT WILL MODERATION HELPS?

IF I EVER WERE TO RETAIN... I WILL DEFINITELY JUMP DOWN FROM A BUILDING!!!!!!!!

IF I RETAIN, I WILL BE DISAPPOINTING MY PARENTS SO MUCH!!!!!! THEY GIVE, SAFE ALL THE BEST THINGS FOR ME..BUT... I'M DISAPPOINTING THEM!!!! :(
.....I RLLY DUNNO WAHT TO SAY...WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT THIS, MY TEARS WOULD FLOW LIKE A NEVER STOPPING RUNNING TAP!!!

I HAVE NV SUFFER ANY SETBACKS IN MY LIFE BEFORE!!! AND DOES NOT WANT IT TO HAPPEN IN MY JC'S LIFE!!!!!!

I HAVE RLLY WORKED HARD FOR MY PROMOS!!!!!!1 BUT WHY IS THIS STILL HAPPENING???
I TOTALLY WISH THAT..THEY COULD MODERATE AND LET ME PASS ONE MORE(JUST ONE MORE H2 SUB!) AND I PROMISE I WILL RLLY PUT IN MORE EFFORT THAN I HAVE PUT IN THIS YEAR FOR MY NEXT YEAR J2 STUDY LIFE!!!!

PLEASE!!! LET ME PROMOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-18T01:54:00.000-07:00

ARGH!!!!!!! I'M TOTALLY INTO BIG BANG NOW!!!!!!
ALL 5 OF THEM ARE SO CUTE!!!!!! BUT I LOVE G-DRAGON MORE MORE MORE!!!!

TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH G-DRAGON!!!
HIS SMILE, HIS LOOK,HIS TALENT, HIS EVERYTHING!!!
HOW CAN SB BE SO CUTE N HANDSOME N SO SUPER TALENTED IN THIS WORLD???
HAHAHAHHAHA!!!
I TOTALLY LOVE HIS SMILE, HIS ACTION!!! THOUGH HE'S THE L.EADER, BUT HE WANS SO MUCH LOVE FROM HIS MEMBERS TOO!!! AND HOW HE TREATED THEM, RLLY MAKE ME ENVY THEM ALOT!!!
HE'S JUST LIKE A BIG BROTHER TAKING CARE OF THEM!!! AND ALSO GIVING SO MUCH FUN, CARE N EVERYTHING TO THEM!!!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HAHA~

2009-08-20T22:20:00.000-07:00

SWK ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol..been enjoying GP Lesson this few weeks!
haha.
ok i know i'm being HUA CHI now! but trust me, i hadn't been hua chi-ing for a long time already. heh
tt time during sec 1 n sec 2, i was so hua chi tt now, i cant find this feeling anymore!
because i realise tt NYJC does not have much guy tt i can hua chi for!
but! recently, i'm starting to hua chi SWK(though not to the level during sec 1 n 2)
lols..this is the motivation i'm starting to have for my studies...so don blame me lah!! haha
and guess what? SWK waved goodbye to me today!!! wao!!SWK rmb me :D

P.S i'm just so happy today that i cant stop smiling to myself! hahahahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
and to my suprise, i was so high that i started to sing " high high into the sky~"
during Geo tutorial today! opps! :D

2009-08-19T20:42:00.000-07:00

alright, was feeling depress nowadays.
its like i finally know the condition under stress!lol
half year of 2009 has gone, and here i am going to prepare for my EXAMS(which i considered SUPER MAJOR!)
i must make sure i do well for this EXAM if not life will be a 360 degrees turn for me! and of course i do not want to end up facing the change of my life!!!
AND THE EXAM IS THE PROMO!!!! GOSH!!! THERE IS LIKE ONLY 43 DAYS LEFT!!!!!!!!!!
I'm like so stress, so anxiousand so frighten(SAF)!!!!!!!!!!
can someone save me???? i need the love, the care and everything from u guys!!!!!!!!
totally can't take it!!!!
no matter what, gota start mugging hard well!!! argh!!1 i don wan to RETAIN!! SERIOUS!!!
sb please save me!!!!!!!
this is really stress for me!! u may see me smile n laugh everyday! but deep down in my heart, there is a fear that is going to kill me soon! i don wan to die so early!

2009-07-23T05:32:00.001-07:00

okay! finally get to upload these pics!!!!!

0930 class chalet
'burned' mashmallows

'satays & stingrays'

shopping trip(:

New blouse!!!!

New wallet!!!