On 17 april08, i went to malaysia for my ah gong's wake(4th day).
the whole place seems dull, atmosphere filled with grief. as my dad, bro n me alighted from the taxi, on the big yard in front of my ah gong's hse, i saw my ah gong's photo on the table. that moment i couldn't bear to look at it. i just couldn't believe that my ah gong had left us. i saw my mom coming out of the hse she told us to offer prays to my ah gong. after offering prays, i went to change my clothes(from head to toe, i'm wearing blue). then i went to take a look at my ah gong laying in the coffin. he's face look kind of pain as he was in the ICU when he was still alive. his body was still bloated up. it's pains me to see that. :(
i went out to the yard and begun to fold the incense paper. after that my bro and i went to burn the incense paper in the hse. not long after my cousin came and he too wore blue(whole body). in the hse only my cousin and me wore from head to toe blue. not long after, i went to look at my ah gong again. i stare at him for a long time, i wanted to have a good look at him before i coudn't see him anymore. my biao jie saw me and asked me if i'm scared. of course. i'm not frightened at all!

the whole hse was silent. the only thind heard was the buddah song that was repeatedly being played. while burning the incense paper, my biao jie and her boyfreind came. thus my bro and i had a good chat with both of them.(asking about what we were studying now and what job they were doing now). as most of my cousins(all older than my bro n i) were in malaysia, we rarely get to see each other often. only during lunar new year, then there will be a gathering.
after that my biao ge came and told me to go and rest and that he would help me out with it though he was sick.

after out dinner, the priest came and the ceremony begin. the whole ceremony lasted for about 5 hrs. by the time it was finished, it's already 12am. i remember the whole cermony clearly till now. during that ceremony, we crossed a man made bridge, the last event was to burn the incense paper, the paper hse and my ah gong's bed. i saw the ppl taking my ah gong's bed out of his room to the so called grassland in front of his hse. i'm not sure why at that moment when the bed was taken out, my heart ached. all the relatives gatheed around the fire and we were required to hold hands(in a circle). during burning, we were all required to shout sth that was on hokkien. i heard my another biao ge shouting:"ah gong.....(hokkien). all my aunties and uncle cried. my cousins, brother and me cried too. we were all very sad, very solemn. all of our eyes were red, filled with tears. my mother was extremely sad.

the last before the coffin was about to close, my parents, brother and i went to take a last look at my ah gong. unknowingly, tears flow down my eyes. my biao jie who has married, her daughter, coco saw that my mum was crying badly came to saw what had happened. i saw her eyes there's seems to be sth that she wanted to tell me.

finally the coffin was closed. we walked with my ah gong in the car to the graveyard, across many roads. all was crying badly......and my ah gong was buried beside my ah ma.......................

i'm left with no grandparents:( n i can't go back to malaysia for holiday anymore.:(

Labels: memories

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8 may 08
went to cwp to buy rain present with serene, weili n sei yee+ do lots of childish things there.
on our way back home, near my block 514, there's a hse on fire!lots of ppl were crowded there, of course serene n i also went to took a look! i even video the scene down, but serene said i "xing zai le huo":(
back in my hse i on9 for the whole day. on the com i done sth for xiner, jiamin and rain. they all love it:) at night i have a great chat with jiamin n rain but jiamin seems to have some pressure. she's not as high as she used to be.(pain to see tat)
den on the msn rain came to talk to me. chat for quite a lonh time. he asked if i got go Ws birthday party the next day and i told him that i need to see first.but he kept on asking me to go.
this our conversation:
r:"go la, i got go lei"
t:"u got go den i must go meh?"
r:"ai ya, the more the merrier!'
den i asked my parents and the let me go but in the end rain couldn't go:(
LOL

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its been days and sometimes in the dark, alone in a corner, tears will still be flowing down my cheeks and my heart will still be aching. in the dark, pictures of the incident will be flowing through my mind, non-stop. (all the scene when i was there.) i can't forget it and will never ever forget it! thats because its the last memories i had with him n all the other ppl although the atmosphere was still.
i saw my ah gong lying in the coffin. i stood there staring at him for a long time. i wanted to take a good look at him for the last time:(
can't believe he's dead and i believe my brother is as sad as me. i saw him cried on the last day of funeral. we were all so sad, so solemn............................................................................................

we will be going back this june 1.

Labels: my feels

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got back all my results today except for biology

didn't score well for midyear except for my humanities.^^

to summarise...
eng-43.3333/100-E8

e math-forget marks-A1

a math-forget marks-C5

hcl-forget marks-C5

humanities-73/100-A2
+ss-SBQ-17/25-SEQ-15/25
+geo-41/50

physic-58....-C5(not sure if there will be marks added)

chem-fail-D7

hais not well done this time round, but with my di support..i sure will work hard for the following exams de. thats what he say"jie arh, dun sad la. i noe u can do it de, dunn give up. ur di will always support u!"
but i reply" thanks for ur support di. but u think i can i dunn think so arh"
and he reply
"Zzz...cannot think lik tat! must be resilient lei. if u dunn help urself, no matter how much i support u oso no use de. jia you!"

haha rest assure di>i wont give up de>i will be RESILIENT!

oh n my di luv my present. its a pressure release. got smell de lei^^

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Labels: my favourite++

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got back my exam papers today:)
+ math-78.8
+geo-82(3rd highest)(good:)b4 geo exam den study can get 41/50. (not bad huh?)others study much more earlier then me just win me by one mark, or shocked:(
+bio still halfway through making(quite bad)
+ss only got back SEQ-15/25(bad)
+eng only got back paper 2-fail:(

so sad):
got to buck up for my subjects^^

Labels: exam marks

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Labels: mother's day

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