HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY ELYN! :D

sorry for not being able t go for ur celebration, tight down with tones n tones of work and i'm sick recently. anyway, do hope that u enjoy ur birthday with the rest n may we meet up soon again!!!!

ohwell, i'm nearly hit down by a car today. i just didn't hear my dad calling me n tt there's actually a car driving towards me from behind. wasn't myself today, n i usually think bout lots of stuff when walking alone. guess its a bad habit of mine. this happens to me countless time and i'm just lucky to get away with it without being knock down by the cars. sigh! it will be damn embarrassing if i were t be knock down by a car:((

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HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY:D

THE LONG AWAITED DAY HAS FINALLY ARRIVED! HOPE YOU ENJOYED UR BDAE N THANKS FOR THE TREAT TOO. I should be treating u, but end up the other way round. lol. anyway, glad that u like the gift and the cards. (haha, girls usually have lots t say when it comes t writing letters or cards) bcos u didn't want the others t know tt its ur bdae today, so i cant make ur day till its very exciting:( anyway, hope that u're seriously aren't bored celb-ing ur bdae in this way. but i don think its a celebration tho, cos it doesn't look like! :(
but seriously i wanna say thankyou to you; a million thanks for all tt u did(:
lols i cant use the word enjoyed anymore, cos its kinda weird. SO i'll try t make nxt yr a better one(:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONCE AGAIN:D

(and lols! i fell asleep while using laptop! omg! guess i'm really sick and tired after this hectic week filled with tests! I kind of regretted for not doing a proper job in preparing for his bdae. tho the decorations n designs of the cards are done a few weeks ago, but the message written on it are kind of rush, tho drafted only on this week itself. anyway, thanks meng n ash for helpin out too(: haha.)-posted today 28aug.



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what more can i say, they are just AWESOME FRIENDS OF MINE! -CRAZZIES:D
little did i know that menghow actually do share my prbs with ashraf and both will actually discuss it tgt n come up with different pov. u wouldn't know how sweet they are! i'm so damn touch when meng sent me the convo that they had. really appreciate everything that they did for me(: i've really entered the right class and i'm sure that this year isn't wasted n its an important year in my life. what i wanted t say is, ' THANKS FOR BEING SUCH AN AWESOME LISTENING EAR N HELPING ME WITH ALL MY PRBS. MOST IMPORTANTLY, ALL THOSE COMMENTS THAT U ALL GAVE, BE IT POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE:D ITS REALLY HELPS INDEED.'

i seriously have lots to say t crazzies, but some appreciation just cant be described by words:( hope tt u all understand, and that i rlly love u all! may we remain as friends forever, and i rlly mean it(:

btw, lots of things happen recently.
i din't know tt things will happen in this way, and i seriously don mean to say it out, though i felt indignant when all decided t pon econs lecture. but i seriously blurt it out unknowingly. i'm seriously aren't good at telling lies or even helping them to cover up. what irritates me the most was oliver told the whole class that i was the one who say it out and i shld try t cover up sth liddat. hello? its my fault for not helping them t cover up? the lecturer asked if i'm sure my classmates did not take the letters, and my first reply was, they nv come how t take? i don mean t expose them(should i use this word), its just a natural reaction of me. sigh, alright, its over now and i shouldn't ponder over it. i truly hope that all of them are genuine in believing me.

the second issue is even more serious, and i don't know where and how t start. it still sent chill down my spine whenever i think bout it. and i appreciate what crazzies did for me-qiling helped me with the draft while ash n meng gave opinions and suggestions t me. it might seem that this matter is solved, but there's still lots of things that i wanna 'clarify', cos thr just some things that i don really understand. but it seriously affected my mood for the whole day and i DON BLAME changi cos its my fault tho:( even crazzies think tt i shouldn't have respond in tt way, which cos this situation t happen. anyway, its the first time tt i didn't finish one whole bowl of noodles, n i think meng is stunned by my actions tho. but i'm seriously gona cry, if changi gona ignore me the whole day. aww! ltr in the day, changi asked meng t join, but cos meng knew tt i need t clarify some things, so he didn't agree. but changi was still not himself. i showed changi the letter and i was rlly frightened at tt time. for a moment, i wish crazzies are by my side. i nearly cried when changi explained his actions, but i fought back my tears tho. i couldn't imagine what will happen if i cried out. whats more, there are just some things that i wanna say it out, but i can't! :( and i hate myself for behaving like this tho. i rmb, changi said sth related t rights, gosh! of cos changi has every right t do so. situation was back t normal again at ard 6pm, and i enjoyed the time that we had tgt(: seriously serious. lol. but, i'm still appalled by wat happened earlier. :( :( :(

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MY DEAR JUNIOR CELIA! PLEASE STAY STRONG N BRAVE! UR SENIORS WILL BE THERE FOR YOU WHEN U'RE FEELING DOWN!

went t attend funeral earlier in the evening just now. my junior's dad pass away yest. :( idk
how t console her, i afraid the more i say, the more depress she is. tho i understand how it is like when one's kin is gone, but i cant imagine how life will be without sb tt u lived so long with. lots of juniors n seniors from gz met up n went t attend the funeral today, all were in silence when we reached there. i hope celia's is fine now.
its a mini gathering today too, cos i finally meet up with my juniors, senior n friends after so long! especially my DI-rain!!! haha!!! chatted with rain, and he kept sayin i went missing for months, n didn't contact him! hello?! i've been online quite often recently, and especially active in fb tho. okay lah! at least we chatted today(: love my diii!

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friends have been saying that they see it as both parties having feelings for each other, but sometimes actions n words can be misleading tho! I don wanna give myself false hope u see, bcos i'm afraid tt i cant take this blow! i know i've been sharing with u all what happen and those convos tt we shared, and tho i seem jubilant over it, but i'm seriously telling myself tt it might just be my wishful thinking only! i rmb what ash said today, that, that was how n what he said t his Gf when he's trying t court her. so and all agreed tt he's been dropping hints. yup, tho sometimes i have this feeling too, but most of the time, i got the feeling tt i'm actually reading too much into it. I'm serious! as what i've mention earlier, ACTIONS N WORDS CAN BE MISLEADING!!!!! when u're actually having an affection(i'm not sure if this is the correct word t use, but..) for a particular person, u might think tt they are dropping hints, but sometimes it may turn out t be the other way round. i know i'm being negative about it now, but i doono why i just got this feelings recently:( i just love the times tt both of us spent tgt, the convos tt we had, and those little things tt we shared, but i'm starting t be negative bout it. it doesn't mean tt a guy and a girl gg out tgt alone would mean tt they had feelings for each other, they might just be treating each other as their best friends only, am i right t say tt? AWWW! ok, i think i shld stop, but i'm seriously quite confuse now! WHY WHY WHY??? :( :( :(

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:D :D :D
cant stop smiling t myself, things have been turning out well these few days. but i hate this long wkend, cos it'll be such a torture without.....
aww, nvm, i shall be grateful t what i have n what we did tgt. to all my friends knwing my secrets n stories, yup, tt day has been a great day(:

oh n this posting time is accurate mh, hahaha

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we were strangers starting out on a journey,
never dreaming what we'd t go thru,
now here we are, i'm suddenly standing at the beginning with you.
No one told me i was going t find you.
unexpected what u did t my heart.
when i lost hope, u were there t remind me, THIS IS THE START!

and life is a road i wanna keep going
love is a river i wanna keep flowing
life a road, now and forever, wonderful journey.

i'll be there when the world stops turning,
i'll be there when the storm is through,
in the end i wanna be standing at the beginning with you.

we were strangers on a crazy adventure.
never dreaming, how our dreams will come true.
now here we stand, unafraid of the future, at the beginning with you.

and life is a road i wanna keep going
love is a river i wanna keep flowing
life a road, now and forever, wonderful journey.

i'll be there when the world stops turning,
i'll be there when the storm is through,
in the end i wanna be standing at the beginning with you.

i knew there was somebody somewhere
like me alone in the dark
now i know my dream will live on
i've been waiting so long, nothing's gonna tear us apart.

life is a road i wanna keep going
love is a river i wanna keep going on..
starting out on a journey.

at the beginning with you...

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national day celb today.
went 313@somerset after tt.
after that, went ion orchard, bought oxy5 from waston(LOL) n pencil case from muji, then headed t wheelock place-borders, then to wisma atria(: sat down at food republic t have some rest before continuing our window shopping:D

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i seriously need someone that i can share my 'secrets' with, cos not all ur friends are sincere at lendin their listening ears, as in, they will still listen, but wat exactly are they thinkin as u tell them ur secrets will always be left unknown. i'm lookin for one tt i can seriously share my feeling towards my ec now, but sometimes maybe keeping them in my heart might be good too. sigh, this is damn irritating man! i need someone tt can seriously know how i feel towards my ec! lots of ppl tt i feel like calling now to share my sorrows; gw, ql, von, mh, serene, yc,... sigh. look at tt gw! everytime suan me when i tell him bout my ec! hais!!!! ps gw! HAHAHAH

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come t think about it, there are actually lots of happy moments that both of us shared, but there are also times when i feel like giving up. flashback after flashback starts appearing in my mind as i wrote this post. all these memories seemed so fresh in my, as if they all happened just days ago. almost half a year has past, and what i could do is to only reminisce on those memories, which somehow are of no purpose tho. However, they actually helped me t carry on with my life, motivates me, enables me t enjoy my jc's life, but all of these brought sorrows t my life too.
i enjoy the sweet moments tt we shared, maybe t me only. but sometimes, i can't sense the feeling tt i'm actually looking for. recently ago, we were alone somewhere else in sg. i totally love the feeling when there's only 2 of us. bcos i could crap lots of things, but when there are other ppl around, thr's nth i can say. but tt day was totally great n happening. ( maybe its wat i feel only) That day, i got this urge, but it subsided times after times. after tt, i told my friend bout it, and he told me t wait till everything is over den i say it out. okay, but thats abit difficult.

erm, alright, i shall carry on my life only to think of those happy memories.

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