On 17 april08, i went to malaysia for my ah gong's wake(4th day).
the whole place seems dull, atmosphere filled with grief. as my dad, bro n me alighted from the taxi, on the big yard in front of my ah gong's hse, i saw my ah gong's photo on the table. that moment i couldn't bear to look at it. i just couldn't believe that my ah gong had left us. i saw my mom coming out of the hse she told us to offer prays to my ah gong. after offering prays, i went to change my clothes(from head to toe, i'm wearing blue). then i went to take a look at my ah gong laying in the coffin. he's face look kind of pain as he was in the ICU when he was still alive. his body was still bloated up. it's pains me to see that. :(
i went out to the yard and begun to fold the incense paper. after that my bro and i went to burn the incense paper in the hse. not long after my cousin came and he too wore blue(whole body). in the hse only my cousin and me wore from head to toe blue. not long after, i went to look at my ah gong again. i stare at him for a long time, i wanted to have a good look at him before i coudn't see him anymore. my biao jie saw me and asked me if i'm scared. of course. i'm not frightened at all!

the whole hse was silent. the only thind heard was the buddah song that was repeatedly being played. while burning the incense paper, my biao jie and her boyfreind came. thus my bro and i had a good chat with both of them.(asking about what we were studying now and what job they were doing now). as most of my cousins(all older than my bro n i) were in malaysia, we rarely get to see each other often. only during lunar new year, then there will be a gathering.
after that my biao ge came and told me to go and rest and that he would help me out with it though he was sick.

after out dinner, the priest came and the ceremony begin. the whole ceremony lasted for about 5 hrs. by the time it was finished, it's already 12am. i remember the whole cermony clearly till now. during that ceremony, we crossed a man made bridge, the last event was to burn the incense paper, the paper hse and my ah gong's bed. i saw the ppl taking my ah gong's bed out of his room to the so called grassland in front of his hse. i'm not sure why at that moment when the bed was taken out, my heart ached. all the relatives gatheed around the fire and we were required to hold hands(in a circle). during burning, we were all required to shout sth that was on hokkien. i heard my another biao ge shouting:"ah gong.....(hokkien). all my aunties and uncle cried. my cousins, brother and me cried too. we were all very sad, very solemn. all of our eyes were red, filled with tears. my mother was extremely sad.

the last before the coffin was about to close, my parents, brother and i went to take a last look at my ah gong. unknowingly, tears flow down my eyes. my biao jie who has married, her daughter, coco saw that my mum was crying badly came to saw what had happened. i saw her eyes there's seems to be sth that she wanted to tell me.

finally the coffin was closed. we walked with my ah gong in the car to the graveyard, across many roads. all was crying badly......and my ah gong was buried beside my ah ma.......................

i'm left with no grandparents:( n i can't go back to malaysia for holiday anymore.:(

Labels: memories

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