does miracles really exist? How i wish miracles could happen in my life.
this is such a torture. one month of nightmare, and when will I be able to wake up from this nightmare? when will this nightmare stop and turn into a beautiful dream instead?

sigh, that feeling when someone is constantly on ur mind, but u know that that person is trying to forget about u, and u're never on his mind.

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I just need a shoulder, a shoulder that i can rest on to. When u depend too much on someone, you will fall too hard, until you don even know how to get up. no one can help me, but i cant help myself too. maybe thats why god gave me a short life span?

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I don't wanna give up. It just happens too suddenly. up till today, I still don't know what exactly happened.  Am I really in a wrong? :( I couldn't stop crying no matter how hard I told myself not to. But its just so damn difficult. no one understand how i feel. I cant even cry out loud. its such a torture :(  and people kept rubbing salt onto my wound. Its so damn pain!  What exactly have I done? why is this happening? WHYYYYYYYYYY???????!!!!!!


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Things that I've yet to learn...

1. Learn to be alone; learn to be lonely, because sometimes somebody or no one will be there for you forever. Afterall, I came to this world alone.

2. Learn to cherish, cherish whatever that I have, whatever I once have, whatever I used to have.

3. Learn to be thankful. Thankful for what I have now and what I used to have. Although its a pity that somethings come and go, but be thankful that I once have that beautiful and sad memories. Its part of my life, and there's a long way to go in my life. It may be difficult, but as long as I'm alive, I have to move on. I believe god will still be nice to me in another way or so.

4. Learn to be strong, learn to smile at myself and cry for myself. Because no one will be there to cry with me or for me. No one will ever know how I'm feeling, I need to be strong.

its difficult though, but I can only encourage myself with all these words. I've no one by my side now, but life still goes on. Although I hope that things can go back to how they use to be, but sometimes my wishes do not come true too, no matter how hard I prayed each day.

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I cant believe that for these 8days, I'm tearing everyday, every hour. Been acting like a fool, checking my phone every 20mins or so. Been waiting for something that never seems to happen. Sigh, Im tired from all this. I told myself to be strong, to live independently, yet, my heart doesnt seems to listen to what I said. Time will heal everything right? I should learn to let go what does not belongs to me in the first place.

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